Changes

(original post date 11-8-08)

I am trying desperately to get my things together and advance in life, and thus far, I feel like I've done a pretty okay job at that. However, I need to announce some things in my life that have changed. I have thought on this subject for about a year now, and I have finally reached a conclusion.

I will no longer use the term straightedge to describe myself.

I have chosen to do this for a number of reasons. Mainly, I wish to no longer live my life based on ultimatum(s). This does not mean I wish to become a drunken fool or a druggie. No, I still pity and almost hate those people. My values still hold firm, this world will never see a drunk or high Jake Lentz (within reason. When I get my wisdom teeth taken out, you bet your ass I'll be taking my strong medication.). My morals hold firm, it is the institution I wish to sever myself from.

In the last five years, I have come to see far too much hypocrisy and far too many double-standards in the "edge community." People would scoff at someone having an alcoholic drink, but down energy drinks like water, and those things are legalized speed, simply put. I have seen people claim edge for short periods of time, just to toss that aside when an opportunity arose for some gain, be it free alcohol or sluts. I have seen morbidly obese people claim to be straightedge.

I no longer wish to call myself a member of this community. While some of my friends are straightedge, truly straightedge, I cannot claim that title anymore. As I said before, I have not changed. However, I do not want to be remembered as a man who lived a cloistered life of ultimatums. I want to be known as a responsible adult. I want people to see me and respect me for reasons other than sobriety, and I feel that calling myself straightedge will not help me a whole lot. And honestly, I just feel like calling myself edge was redundant or pointless.

As I said, I will never be seen inebriated. I have too many people that rely on me, and I would rather die than have to refuse someone because I were intoxicated in one form or another.

If my choice offends anyone, I would suggest you talk to me. I am sure someone will read this and label me an "edge-breaker." That's fine. I know I have a tattoo that says "poison-free." And you know what? I still am. I do not poison myself.